Print This Paget is considered to be proper wedding etiquette to hand address your envelopes. I hope the following will be helpful to you when preparing your guest list. If you are only using an outer envelope, all the guests names must appear on the envelope. Follow the etiquette for the outer envelope and add those that would traditionally appear on the inner envelope to the outer. Use the same format as if they were on the inner envelope.
Assembling Envelopes
Assemble in size order. Start with the invitation and then stack the enclosure cards on top (not inside) in the following order if possible. The reception card goes first (face-up); then the reply envelope, (face-down); slip the reply card face-up beneath the flap of the reply envelope; then if used, the at home card, direction card, accommodation card and lastly the pew card. Place the stack in the inner envelope with the folded edge of the invitation at the bottom of the envelope. (The right-hand side of the invitation should be closest to the flap.) The copy faces the back of the envelope. You should be able to remove the invitation with your right hand and be able to read it with out turning it.
With double envelopes, the inner envelope containing the invitation and enclosures goes into the larger outer envelope. The unsealed flap should be at the top, but facing away from the recipient. When the outer envelope is opened, the names on the front of the inner envelope should face the recipient.
Tissues
Tissues can either be left in or removed, they were once used to prevent smudging. If you are using them, they should be placed directly on top of each card to which they correspond.
Outer Envelope
This is the mailing envelope. Guests' names and addresses should be either hand written or written in calligraphy on the face of the envelope.
Abbreviations
Do not use abbreviations or symbols. Spell out all words - titles (except for Mr., Mrs., and Ms.) academic titles such as 'Professor' or 'Doctor' are not considered appropriate for social gatherings. Street, Drive, Avenue and names of States should be spelled out in full. Use 'and' instead of &. The calligrapher will use an & if space is an issue.
Return Address
The sender's address should appear on the back flap, their names should not appear. An Apartment number may appear as below:
Apartment 2E
312 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York 10028
312 Fifth Avenue, Apartment 2E
New York, New York 10028
Inner Envelope
This envelope tells you which members of the house-hold are invited to the wedding. Only surnames and titles are used. Children under the age of eighteen are listed from oldest to youngest using their given names. Children eighteen and over residing at the same address as their parents should receive their own invitation. Avoid using 'and family'.
Escorts and Guests
It is not good etiquette to include 'and guest' on the outer envelope. Correct etiquette requires that you call and find out the name and address of your friends' guest and then you send them their own invitation. It is also acceptable to include their name on the same envelope as your friends'. If it is not possible to get this information you may use 'and guest' for a male guest or 'and escort' for a female guest. 'Guest' and 'escort' are written in lower case letters.
Married Couples
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Mr. and Mrs. John Brown | Mr. and Mrs. Brown |
with Children Under Eighteen at Home
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Mr. and Mrs. John Brown | Mr. and Mrs. Brown Susan and Evan |
with Two Daughters Over Eighteen Living at Home
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| The Misses Brown or Miss Susan Brown Miss Karen Brown |
The Misses Brown The Misses Brown |
with Two Sons Over Eighteen Living at Home
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| The Messrs. Brown or Mr. Evan Brown Mr. Martin Brown |
The Messrs. Brown The Messrs. Brown |
with a Son and Daughter Living at Home
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Miss Susan Brown Mr. Evan Brown |
Miss Brown Mr. Brown |
when the Woman has Kept Her Maiden Name
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Ms. Mary Jones and Mr. John Brown |
Ms. Jones and Mr. Brown |
when the Woman has Kept Her Maiden Name
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Ms. Mary Jones and Mr. John Brown |
Ms. Jones and Mr. Brown |
when the Man is a Doctor
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Doctor and Mrs. John Brown | Doctor and Mrs. Brown |
when Both are Doctors
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Doctor and Mrs. John Brown or The Doctors Brown or Doctor Mary Brown and Doctor John Brown |
Doctor and Mrs. Brown or The Doctors Brown The Doctors Brown |
when the Woman is a Doctor
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Mr. and Mrs. John Brown or Doctor Mary Brown and Mr. John Brown |
Mr. and Mrs. Brown or Doctor Brown and Mr. Brown |
Unmarried Couple Living Together
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Miss or Ms. Mary Martin Mr. John Brown |
Miss or Ms. Martin Mr. Brown |
Divorced Woman
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Mrs. or Ms. Mary Martin Brown | Mrs. or Ms. Brown |
Divorced Woman using Maiden Name
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Ms. Mary Martin | Ms. Martin |
Widow
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Mrs. John Brown | Mrs. Brown |
Single Woman
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Miss or Ms. Mary Martin | Miss or Ms. Martin |
Single Woman and Date
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Miss or Ms. Mary Martin | Miss or Ms. Martin and escort or guest |
Single Man
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Mr. John Brown | Mr. Brown |
Single Man and Date
| Outer Envelope | Inner Envelope |
| Mr. John Brown | Mr. Brown and guest |
Mailing Wedding Invitations
Mail invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. Take a stuffed envelope, with all the enclosures, to the post office ahead of time to determine postage. Choose your stamps at this time. Let your calligrapher know how your stamps will fit on the envelope as this will affect the layout of the address.
For table or escort cards and seating cards names will be centred.
Table cards also known as escort cards and envelopes are placed on a table outside the reception hall. They tell your guests which table they are seated at. The guests' names go on the front page of the envelope — title and surname. If there is more than one guest with the same surname and title add a first name. The card has the table number written on it. Cards can be switched between envelopes if the seating arrangements have to be changed at the last moment. I usually do extra cards for tables where there might be changes.
Place or Seating Cards
Place or seating cards are small cards traditionally white or ecru that are placed at the place settings to tell the guests where to sit. Folded place cards also known as tent cards stand on their own, flat place cards may be set against the water glass or placed in an appropriate holder. Your place cards should match your menu cards. Put your guest's title, given name and surname on the place card.
Mr. John Brown
If you have further questions on etiquette please consult the Crane's Blue Book of Stationery or other etiquette books.
For information on how to present your lists for the reception please visit the important information page.